How Not To Market on Twitter

I received the following email from a Twitterer today which in turn has prompted this post: How Not to Market.

Twitter Follower Notification

Twitter Follower Notification

How Not to Market?

First set up a Twitter account under a sexy sounding girls name and then grab an image of the hottest looking girl you can find (preferrably a stock image you don’t have to pay for) Actually image ownership rights of the girl won’t matter because your site won’t be visited by anyone other than those you follow.

How Not To Market On Twitter

How Not To Market On Twitter

Next, get an affiliate account id for some spammy product that purportedly sells well with possibly your own domain pointing to the spammy affiliate page and then post your new prized domain on your Twitter profile page under your Web address.

Begin search for Tweets about Twitter or other generic non specific terms in Twitter Search.

Compile a list of recent Tweets and their authors to first stalk and then follow in the hopes their Twitter accounts will automatically follow you. If “stalkees” don’t automatically follow you back,  your hot girl picture should at least do the trick to get the followed to at least click through to your web address to learn more about what it is that you do.

This assumes the followed aren’t suspicious about your single update which upon reading sounds like the introductory sales script from a telemarketer’s cold call.

Then – PRAY! – those who you followed actually eyeball your spammy affiliate web site are also in the market for whatever it is your affiliate site is selling.

Twitter Web Address

Twitter Web Address

Increase click-throughs to your site and hedge your bets by making the biggest promise of all –  that your giving away endless quantities of cash – just like the latest Twitter spammer above who followed me did.

The problem with this “social media marketing model” is if anyone of the followed actually visit your website – they will do so only once and then they will probably be mad they were tricked into visiting your website to begin with.

If the new / social media marketer is lucky, they may even get a special  blog post written about just how special their social medai marketing  “user experience” was.


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